I am a writer and an intuitive mentor/consultant.
But even as I write that, it feels so unfair to describe myself that way. As I am so, so much more, and in other moments, so much less. And also, I will be for you what you need to see.
I believe that everything we notice – in life, in ourselves, in others – it is all meant to be seen and experienced uniquely by us. It is our blueprint, designed to teach and assist us.
If your life is a hot mess, I am here to tell you, perfect. You are quite possibly on the way to enlightenment. You just need to learn to listen to what is within and in front of you, to embrace what I call, “The Messy Divine”.
What I offer you is the tools to attune to the wisdom in the mess. The problem is never what is. The problem is the energy you are bringing to what is. I help my clients see and accept what they already are, hear the intuition and wisdom they already have, and interpret what is in front of them so that they can learn and advance with less resistance.
Trust me, I know about resistance. And mess. I was born into mess, and the first three decades of my life continued to be crazy messy. And I did NOT accept that it was meant to be or my blueprint. I couldn’t see that it was all perfectly orchestrated to nudge me to a better path for me.
I made it all look good on the outside. I worked in film, I did journalism, I travelled and lived around the world, I had style and was often called ‘glamourous’ (god you really should see me now, in track pants and a bird’s nest bun).
But oh, how I struggled against, well, everything. I tried to avoid the mess, hide the mess, change the mess.
I never spoke about the disconnected and unstable family I came from, the poverty, the trauma I experienced as a child. I didn’t even tell boyfriends I lived with that I had been diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. And yes, I hid the intuitive gift that had me called ‘witch’ in high school (my mother was a working psychic, and I was using pendulums and ‘tuning in’ from aged about seven).
But most of all I hid the deep, endless loneliness and sadness, that didn’t go away when I was with others. And yes, at times, suicidal thinking. I wanted to be someone else. Someone who was more together, mostly. I couldn’t see that it was my complete lack of self-acceptance that was causing so much of my constant overwhelming feeling of failure.
And I found the perfect way to hide my sadness. Helping other people so much that I had no time for myself. I even trained in counselling, coaching, healing. I gave intuitive readings. It wasn’t my job, it was just my strange ‘hobby’. Many people I worked with or met had no idea I was even doing any of it.
I got to the point I knew myself really well from all the deep inner work I did. And had a very strong link to my inner wisdom. That was nice. And the sadness was less. (The scattered brain, nope, that is still the same.)
But then the anxiety started. And once it did, it was a runaway train.
It was when I had such a big anxiety attack I fainted in a training course and ended up in emergency having my heart checked that I knew (and then realised, heck, I had known all along…my instincts had been screaming, but I had used them perfectly for others and never for myself!).
It was the pretending. I was literally burning myself out from all the pretending.
Pretending my life was together, that I had ‘answers’, that I knew where I was going, and that I was what others wanted me to be. I also realised that nobody was even buying it anymore anyway. I wasn’t exactly 25. Or even 35. So what was I doing?!
Not long after a term came to me. It was, ‘Messy Divine”.
What if the problem is that I am not accepting what was in front of me? What if it’s all exactly perfect, and just what I need to learn in this lifetime, if only I just stop fighting against it and instead dived into it? What if my life is messy but completely divine? And I already know everything I need to? And enlightenment is not out there but right here? And all I had to do was listen, deeply, to my inuition, experience, fully, what came my way, and take it from there?
I realised that the things I was delegating as hobbies were my calling. So now I am flagrantly in love with my intuition, with exploration of my inner realms and higher self, and I’m living out every messy day that comes as an amazing lesson of deeper self knowledge and connection. I hope you join me.
My self-development qualifications:
- Level 2 Counselling Certification UK
- Level 3 Counselling Certification UK (not finished)
- Brainworking Recursive Therapy BWRT Level 1
- Group Life Coaching (Life Clubs UK)
- Theta Healing Advanced Practitioner
- Reyad Sekhem (Egyptian Reiki) Intermediate Practitioner.
My writing qualifications:
- BA Honours, Creative Writing
- Postgraduate Certificate in Screenwriting
- Certificate in Copywriting
- Certificate in Copyediting
- Faber Academy’s ‘Novel Writing Course’.